It's a Little Less Funny Today

In 1982, after each episode of "Police Squad" aired, I'd get on the phone and call my grandmother, "Bamba," to discuss it, relive it, and laugh about it even more.  At this point, I don't even remember all of the gags on the show but I'm not sure that it matters.  (They've been recycled time and again through all of the "Naked Gun" films, anyway.) I do remember the two of us in hysterics about the shootout between some miscellaneous hood and Frank Drebin, each taking cover behind trashcans no more than two feet apart. That scene really killed us; I mean it just brought us down, made us laugh until we cried.

So, I guess I owe those memories to a short-lived television show starring Leslie Nielsen.  The measly six episode run allowed a 9-year-old kid to get on the phone with his grams and to just laugh it up, to be fans, to be lovers of slapstick, goofy comedy.

Thanks, Mr. Nielsen. Rest in peace.

Traffic & Regifting

On Saturday the 22nd, we made the drive to The Villages to meet my parents and sister at my aunt and uncle's place. What should've been around a six-hour drive turned into a stinking nightmarish traffic ordeal. Turns out that everybody decided to get on the road and head to Florida yesterday. We left Atlanta at about 10:00a.m. and didn't make it down here until about 6:00p.m., courtesy of the bumper-to-bumper, stop-and-go traffic that plagued us the entire way. The back-ups started north of Macon and didn't let up. Happy times, indeed.

Oh yeah, I peed in some of the most disgusting bathrooms that I've ever seen. Worse than in rural Guatemala or Mexico. Worse than remote Sri Lanka. My favorite was a filthy gas-station near Ocala, Florida with what was apparently an out-of-order urinal. Foregoing a sign, someone simply covered the entire thing in duct tape. Honestly, it looked like a nice piece of art...that road-weary travelers covered with their urine.

Wee Bear Awl
Anyone been to Cafe Risque? I'm assuming that with all of the advertising they do, their XXX cafe must be bustling. Honestly, every other billboard was flaunting their completely naked dancers, extolling how friendly they were to truckers, and welcoming couples. I imagine that it would be fine-dining at it's best with the added bonus of the classiest, most beautiful burlesque dancers that have been seen. Somehow, I think it might be more akin to a run-down Carl's Jr. with the stench of naked meth hookers. Sign me up!

Regifting At Its Best
My sister was in for a very short visit because she had to return to the Cayman Islands to work on Christmas. So, my parents gave us some gifts last night so that we could experience the holiday together. Honestly, it was the best set of gifts we've been given in a long time. Each of us got some of our favorite things from our childhood. Turns out they'd been in the attic and came upon a treasure trove of things from our childhood. So, they decided to regift them to us. They spoke with my wife's folks and got a bunch of her things too. Really, it was amazing. I got a bunch of books from my childhood including my personalized Christmas book, my favorite "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs," an A-Team action figure of Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus, and some old baseball cards.

The cover of my personalized story,
made even more personal by my work with crayons.

Pages from my "personalized computer book."
Click for a closer look and marvel at how much
computer technology has progressed.

In the land of Chewandswallow, food fell from the sky.

Because of this book, I frequently wished that
hamburgers and ketchup would tumble out of the heavens.
I prayed for it to rain orange juice like in the bottom-left picture.

Days before Christmas, I found this action figure
in mom's car but kept silent about it.
When I received it as a gift from Santa, I mourned the loss of the myth.
As the A-Team's Hannibal would say, "I love it when a plan comes together."

My sister got a bunch of her old books, some old photos that show her on a tropical island with multi-cultural friends, and her favorite cuddly stuffed cat. My wife scored big with the Barbie Country Camper complete with Barbie, Skipper, Ken (dressed in a full suede suit), and Lil' Ken. She also got her favorite kid's book: "Soda Pop."

Note Ken's suede-clad legs poking through the windshield.

Honestly, if you can, rediscover some of the gems from your childhood or hold onto your child's favorite things. It's a great way to get grounded and shuffle off some of the weight of being an adult.