Thursday, June 12, 2008

I Am an Elitist

Sorry that I've been away but it's been tough to find time to write from the yacht or from the luxurious casinos of Monaco. My ascension into the upper tier of society began with a polo lesson a few weeks back, courtesy of my dear compatriot, Crazy Greg. Turns out that he won the lessons in exchange for a substantial donation at a charity auction. He is a miracle of benevolence!

We drove north of Atlanta to learn from a master horseman and polo aficionado, Mr. Jack Cashin at his farm. It is quite an exhilarating and difficult sport to master. To be on the safe side, I'll probably need to complete another lesson or two even though I am, quite obviously, a natural rider and sportsman.

We began in Mr. Cashin's den by watching a well-played VHS tape about the sport. Afterward, we were quite anxious to begin the game. I couldn't wait to be on top of a steed in a full run, leaning over to strike a small ball with a mallet. Thirty-five miles an hour? Rubbish!

We began with a lesson in the hitting cage where we mounted a wooden horse, took up a mallet, and worked on perfecting a forehand shot without killing ourselves (or the horse). I'll be the first to admit that there is a lot going on in the game of polo. It went pretty well. After being observed by a few scouts, Dr. J3K has fielded several offers from semi-professional teams.

Dr. J3K working his magic in the cage.

After quickly demonstrating our athletic prowess and equine knowledge, Mr. Cashin decided to waste no additional time before putting us atop one of his most trustworthy mounts and turning us out into the ring so that we could experience the thrill of polo in real time and at full speed.

Prior to the lesson, we didn't know horses could be milked.
Evidently, it makes them run better before during the polo match.

Dr. James 3000 takes his time (really) to make a shot.

Crazy Greg approach his shot at full-speed.
(Approx. 40 m.p.h.)

Crazy Greg demonstrating his mastery of the forehand cross shot.

Here's a short video of the action. Be forewarned that the action is so fast-paced that viewers may experience nausea or motion sickness. It is, however, very enjoyable. And fast.

Dr. J3K on the polo field.

Oh, Mr. Cashin repeatedly told us that telling people you're polo player is a fantastic way to meet women. Score!

Ahhh, the life we lead.