Wednesday, May 27, 2009

It's a Hell of a Thing

Buying your younger sister a pregnancy test.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Cretin de Mayo OR Cinco de Moron

Last night, Winning Run and I went to Cinco de Mayo party hosted by a friend. Once there, we grabbed a couple of margaritas and mingled with some folks to whom we just been introduced.

One of these folks was a British woman, a friend of our friend. What started out as a pleasant enough conversation took a quick turn for the odd in about, oh, ten minutes. After the pleasantries, she began her diatribe about how immigrants in this country should be required to speak English. She preceded her discourse with the disclaimer that America is a lovely place but that one of it's major flaws is that immigrants are not assimilating because they aren't speaking English. Also, by "immigrants" she apparently exclusively meant our brown brothers and sisters from south of our border.

"I mean, it's America after all. For example, I went to Miami and there were places there where you wouldn't believe you were still in the United States," she said, reliving her horror.

"I'm not so sure that I agree with you," Winning Run countered. "I think that diversity is a great thing."

"But this is America; they should be speaking English, the official language. Your country does a lot of things right, but it should really enforce that everyone speaks the language. I was at a friend's house and her maid only spoke Spanish: she couldn't understand a word I said. That's not right. If they don't want to speak the language they should go back home. The U.S. should really tackle this problem."

Winning Run didn't take the bait and countered, "I lived in Houston during grad school. There was a huge Latino population there and everyone was functional in English."

"But there are places that don't even feel like America," she reiterated. "This doesn't happen in England, English is the official language."

"Hold on a minute," I interrupted, "this is a universal occurrence, not just a U.S. phenomenon. I mean, there are tons of Pakistani immigrants in England who don't really assimilate into the culture. France, also, has a ton of Muslim immigrants who are still operate totally separately in their neighborhoods. Seems like you guys are having more problems with it than we are."

"Everyone in England speaks English. France, I don't know about," she dismissed.

At that point, both Winning Run and I tuned out of the conversation but shared a quick roll-of-the-eyes. Here we were, listening to a non-naturalized immigrant (who had been in the U.S. for a few decades) rant about the supposed threats posed by Spanish-speaking immigrants...while drinking a Cinco de Mayo party. The irony of the whole situation was easily apparent to the two of us. To our friend from across the pond, not so much.

You know, I'm fine with differences of opinion and radically different political views. But, I cannot abide poorly informed parroting of what pundits blab on television. It is too much to ask that one thinks for one's self? If you adopt a view, at the very least, put a few minutes into thinking about it and coming up with some reason why the issue is important to you and how it affects you. If you can't think of your own reasons for either, shut the hell up.

For the Win:
Later, she was telling us about the country club she lived in and was asking if we knew where it was.

"Yeah. You guys are the Georgian epicenter for the swine flu outbreak, aren't you?," I said with a quick wink to Winning Run.

"No, that's not our country club," she quickly dismissed. "It must be the church down the street."


Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Rest In Peace, Captain Chaos

Another FOB (Friend of Burt) joins the Cannonball Run in the sky.

Dom with Kermie and Fozzie

In the words of Dr. James Three Thousand:
"First, Snowman; now, Captain Chaos?
Ned Beatty better watch his ass."