Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Revenge of the Nerds (Redux)

Another long stretch of time has passed, obviously, and I've no real idea where it went. It's just gone. I looked up and it's nearly November...and freezing.

More of the usual at school. Heads really down in the books, trying to keep up with everything. I'm past the half point, now; coming out of the woods instead of going into them. I'm constantly overwhelmed and lacking time to think straight.

Here's an interesting non-science tidbit: Apparently "Revenge of the Nerds" is being remade with a cast of people I don't recognize. The only reason I know this is that for the last two weeks, campus has been turned into a movie set. To put it politely, it's been more than annoying. I alternate between scratching my head, muttering about how Hollywood really has run out of ideas if they're remaking this one, and trying to understand how this movie was filmed on this campus.

Seriously, a remake of this movie? Really? Is it warranted? C'mon, the nerds won. Remember the software boom of the 80's and 90's? The name "Bill Gates" ring a bell? It's over; the nerds have had their revenge. Hell, if anything, a "Revenge of the Jocks" movie would make a little more sense at his point.

Also, the remake was filmed at a private, liberal, women's college full of bright, young, enlightened ladies. How the hell did this movie get made here of all places? Did nobody on the faculty and staff see the original movie? Being the oldest of my classmates, nobody really remembers it. I've tried, with limited success, to explain it to them. As I give them the synopsis, their jaws gape in disbelief.

Do you remember this one? Really, it was little more than tits and ass and gross out jokes pitting stereotypical horny nerds against stereotypical womanizing jocks. That's all; the end. Admittedly, I thought the movie, at the time (1984), was hysterical. (The full-frontal female nudity was a big plus, in my opinion.) If you've seen the movie, it probably changed your vocabulary a little bit. What one line or two do you recall from the film? Hmmm. Think about it. Having trouble? Peruse this list of "memorable quotes."

How about the pivotal scene? Remember when the nerd leader beds the alpha jock's super-hot gal? Remember how this happens? Halloween carnival. Smoke machine. Haunted house or something. Anywho, the nerd wearing a Darth Vader mask has sex with the hottie. She, on the other hand, thinks it's her boyfriend who's giving her the business. After everything is done, he takes off the mask for the big surprise: the revelation of his true identity! At the time, it pretty awesome: it gave us nerds hope that one day, we could seduce beautiful women. Reflecting on it now, I'm pretty sure that what occurs in that scene would be considered rape.

Can you believe that this gem of the silver screen is proudly being remade here at my private, liberal women's college? Evidently, a little over $100,000 will make you overlook these things.

Here's the best thing: As a little wrap party, the campus is providing pizza and inviting all the students to a screening of the original movie. !!! I'm almost certain that the person who came up with this idea has seen the movie a few times on television after heavy editing for content and will be in for a huge surprise when showing the original.

I'm definitely going to be there for the fireworks.

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