Finals

I've been terribly busy lately getting my ass kicked by school. More peaks and valleys. Lately, mostly valleys.

Anywho, I'm in the midst of finals. It's pretty strange actually. They're all self-scheduled which means that I take them whenever I choose. Prior to the end of classes, everyone purchases an "exam envelope" and provides it to each professor. The prof places the exam in your envelope and sends it to the central testing building. Then, when you want to take an exam, you simply show up at one of the exam periods (9am, 2pm, 6pm) and request the subject you want to take. Pretty strange but interesting.

Yesterday, I show up to take my physics final. Without a doubt, I was the only male in a sea of women. When I walked into the hall a few minutes before exams were distributed, a hush fell over large group of previous chatty women. Seriously, nothing but crickets.

I stood there waiting, feeling everyone scrutinizing my every move. Suddenly, I remembered a nightmare I had before I started the program:

In this dream, I was standing in line at the library with my arms full of books getting ready to check out. The place was packed. Curiously, I felt a draft down below. I looked down to see my fly open and, let's just say, the horse was out of the barn. So, I'm trying to get back in my pants and zip my fly in a crowded, quiet library without drawing any attention to myself.

I woke up in absolute panic. Anywho, this is the feeling that I had yesterday. Nonchalantly, I tried to check my fly to make sure it was up. Then, I realized how bad it would look for some strange guy to be really nervously touching his crotch in a big group of young college gals.

I fully expected my last memories to be of the deafening sound of one-hundred rape whistles being blown in unison and of the blinding effect of pepper spray.