Could've Done Without That

Our winter formal was last night.  As Winning Run was not here with me, I had been dead set on not attending but ended up going with a group of friends.  After showering and shaving, I grabbed a suit and went to get dressed.  Evidently, I put on (and am still carrying) holiday weight because I could barely get the pants buttoned.  Mind you, this suit and my gut provided three labors as penance for my holiday gluttony: an inside button, a metal clasp, and an outside button.

I blew out all my breath, sucked in my belly, and prepared for battle.  Somewhere in the process of getting the pants on, I managed to slice the hell out of my finger on the metal clasp.  Luckily, the blood only started gushing out after I'd got the pants buttoned and zipped.  It's the little victories in life, you know.

The most dangerous thing in my pants.

So, at several points during the night, I had the pleasure of explaining that I cut my finger while putting on my pants because I'm a fatass.  Can't wait to get back in the gym.