I can't honestly say that I've finished this one on a high note. Organic Chemistry eludes me. On the last test, like most everyone in the class, I made a high D on the exam. That's right a "D." Now, that I've backed myself into a corner, nothing to do but fight my way out via the final exam. Keep your fingers crossed that I manage to pull a "C" or better in the class. I just don't get this stuff.
I'm not that unusual in this regard. A friend who is completing her Ph.D. in neuroscience at Emory told me that she too had a difficult time with it. Her theory is that you might be one of three kinds of people: someone who gets it an earns an "A," someone who never gets it and fails, or someone who gets it just enough to scrape by. I'm definitely scraping by on the seat of my pants.
One of the World's Biggest Crybaby Assholes
Seems that every social group will include at least one person who thrives on conflict and drama. You know, the idiot who has to create a shitstorm when everything is peaceful and easygoing. Well, the social dynamic among our program is no different. From the get go, one person seemed to be leading the charge in dodging accountability and creating drama. This person is always worrisome, terribly negative, and not totally grounded in reality. For example, if she received a low score on a test or something, she lay blame on the test for being unfair or poorly worded. If anything required critical thinking or an "out-of-the-box" approach, she shut down and cried foul to the professors. (Really, though, doctors don't need this type of skill because everything is just like a textbook - an open and shut diagnosis that clearly follows protocol.) Anyway, I've been getting slowly fed up and occasionally amused over the course of the year.
For all practical purposes, this photo represents my classmate.Notably, however, the baby is more mature and trustworthy.
The last several weeks have found her reaping what she's sewn. Since last summer, she's been jointly enrolled in the Ph.D. program in which she was supposedly close to completing. Evidently, she's been taking funds from that university and, instead of using them to do the work expected of a doctoral candidate, using them to fund her participation in the post-bacc program at our institution. Needless to say, this finally caught up with her when she made a research proposal that was deemed "unviable." So, I believe that she's effectively shot herself in the foot on the Ph.D. thing. I feel bad for her situation but, deep down, she's in the hole that she dug for herself.
Anywho, the preceding anecdote is just fodder. A little background, if you will. Recent events that foreshadow upcoming acts of desperation.
I should also point out that, during the course of the program, things have generally been quite collaborative. People have banded together to help each other out. Our star has been the beneficiary of quite a bit of this help from various other students. She asked for help and people helped her out. Personally, I've spent a fair amount of time scanning old tests and working with "That Guy" to be sure that they were emailed to everyone so that we could study them.
One Step Over the Line
So, after the dreadful Organic test last week. I learn that there was an old test that a few people had been using to study. Turns out that the T.A. for the class had given it to our beloved, assuming that it would be shared with everyone. Obviously, this didn't happen. To make matters worse, it wasn't simply a case of forgetfulness or of passing something down a chain that breaks. It was a deliberate effort to withhold information from the entire group! Superstar told people to keep the test on the low-down and not to mention it to certain people, which evidently includes me and a few others. (The scuttlebutt is that because we don't "study" with their group, we're elitist or some other 5th grade bullshit.) Really? This is how it's going down? Seriously?
Turns out a few questions from the old test matched our exam. Conceivably, I could've earned a few more points and pulled a low "C." Light speed in black hole, right? Anywho, a few of us talked with the professor about it. We didn't ID anyone but because everyone signs an honor code at the start of the year and because the college holds moral integrity in high esteem, we thought she should know to help alleviate the same thing in the future. (Instead of the T.A. giving the exam to one person, post it online for all to access.) The icing on the cake is that nobody did well on the test. Even with her "competitive advantage," she still bit it.
I disgusted by it. After all the help she's received and after the collaboration that everyone has shown, she undermines it all like this? Unbelievable. Funny how adults can revert back to middle school social behavior, isn't it?
The Icing on the Cake
Tonight, I get an email from her regarding the final for the lab portion of Organic Chemistry, which was an open-book test. My jaw dropped. I really tried to just delete it without responding. When I was responding, I had to fight everything in me to call her out on being such an idiot. Here's her message :
From: [Crybaby Asshole]
Sent: Wed 5/2/2007 12:02 PM
To: [Lab Prof]
Subject: concerning lab final and final lab report
Dr. [Lab Prof],
I am concerned about the grade I received on the lab final. I spent several hours working on the final, finding the answers in the lab book, lab reports, organic chem text book, and even online sources. I knew that there were two questions that I was uncertain about but I was surprised when I submitted the final and missed 6. I would really like a copy of my lab final to see what exactly I missed so that I can figure out how I could have missed 4 more than I thought I might have. Also, days after the final many of us discussed our grades because many members of the class (who normally do well on the lab reports and lab quizzes) were similarly surprised by their low grades on the lab final and we were unable to figure out what questions we missed. Any light you can shed on this issue would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Best,
[Crybaby Asshole]
________________________________
-----Original Message-----
From: [Crybaby Asshole]
Sent: Wed 5/2/2007 12:11 PM
To: The Scholar
Subject: FW: orgo lab final
[T.A.] said Dr. [Lab Prof] is going to be submitting our official lab grades by the end of the week. I have already sent him an email (above) and highly encourage you to do the same if you felt the lab final was unfair or flawed. I know it's finals time but let's rally team! It can't hurt us. :) (I didn't send this to everyone so please send on or remind other people in class to do the same.)
[Crybaby Asshole]
________________________________
I didn't find it to be either unfair or flawed; I'm sure that the questions I missed were due to me fouling them up and not due to the exam. Good luck with this campaign and with finals.
-- The Scholar
I'm amazed at how she thinks that every grade she earns is negotiable. I really think that she believes she can argue like this in medical school. At what point does one become accountable for one's actions? Without a doubt, she's got the makings of a great doctor. (As long as you exclude accountability, strength of character, honesty, ethical behavior, critical thinking ability, and interpersonal skills.) Really, save the drama for the stage.
Whew. I feel a lot better. (For the record, I'm not an ass all the time. I feel this was warranted.)
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