Jamaican Me Crazy!

Awesome lunch at the Resta, our name for the Negril Caribbean Restaurant in downtown Atlanta.

Here's a recap:

12:17 pm: Arrive with Dan, Kim, Nancy.

12:20 pm: Enter restaurant, see Joe and the surprise guest, Jason.

12:23 pm: Place order with waitress. Mostly patties, rice and peas, yellow rice and black beans, broccoli, carrots, and an order of wings and fries. Order jerk or oxtail gravy on rice/beans. Waitress says that "she'll see what she can do" clearly setting low expectations. This is akin to asking for ketchup for your fries and being rebuffed. Waitress takes 5 minutes to review order just so "they don't mess it up in the kitchen." Have sensation that it's being messed up far earlier than the kitchen.

12:29 pm: Patties arrive on a single large platter that is tossed into the middle of the table. Tiny saucers are distributed, frisbee style, to everyone. Waitress confirms missing items. Forgets to include jerk gravy. Remind waitress to remember it.

12:45 pm: Wings, broccoli and carrots arrive. No sign of fries, rice/peas or black beans/yellow rice. Politely remind waitress of required jerk gravy. Agree with Joe's observation that cutting up his patties in anticipation of rice and peas is probably a critical strategic error.

12:55 pm: Inquire again about rice/peas, black beans/yellow rice, and jerk gravy. Waitress mentions how busy she is, assures that she'll bring it right out, and casually, slowly walks away. Say goodbye to Nancy and Jason who must return to work.

12:58 pm: Say goodbye to Kim and Dan who must return to work.

1:05 pm: Stare at patties. Caress them gently with fork. Imagine how first bite will taste.

1:10 pm: Walk to counter, try unsuccessfully to make eye contact with waitress. Shake head in disgust. Walk back to table. Hold patties to nose, breathe their delicious aroma. Hold them to my cheek, feel their fading warmth. Pet them.

1:15 pm: Return to counter. Make eye contact. Ask for black beans/yellow rice. Waitress starts to hand me fries. Alert her that the customer who ordered fries left 10 minutes earlier. Receive plate of beans and rice, freshly made in 5 seconds while I watched. Ask for jerk gravy. Receive assurance that it'll be right out.

1:20 pm: Discuss with Joe the unlikelihood that we would ever receive gravy. Watch Joe take his bowl of rice and peas to counter. Ask him to bring some extra. Wink at patties. Tell patties a joke. Share uncomfortable laughter with patties.

1:22 pm: Watch Joe return with no extra jerk gravy.

1:23 pm: Walk to counter with plate of beans and rice. Demand jerk gravy. Witness jerk gravy being put on beans and rice. Note that elapsed time of application is 2 seconds.

1:24 pm: Waitress arrives at table with another plate of beans and rice with jerk gravy. Notify her that person who ordered them had been long gone. Tell her to take them back because no one is there to eat them. Waitress does not remove beans and rice, instead, begins bussing the table as we're begin eating.

1:29 pm: Finish patties and beans and rice with jerk gravy.

1:35 pm: Postulate that our waitress will not be bringing our check.

1:36 pm: Walk to counter. In response to our presence, waitress tells us to "chill out" as she walks by.

1:37 pm: Settle check at register. Items that are removed from total are almost equal to the amount we received. Leave no tip. Walk out. Reconsider my allegiance to the Resta. Consider Calypso Cafe for next week's Friday lunch.